![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Apr. 2nd, 2015 02:56 pmDay three.
I now offically wonder when I'm going to stop counting.
Getting up out of bed, and intending to do stuff is easier.
I'm going through old photographs. I stumbled on some video diaries from when I really wanted to be Ze Frank- or John Green really, but I didn't know who that was yet. The material is pretty good. The editing is okay. The delivery is better that I expected- at least with the one video I liked. At least one of the others reminded me that it's a good idea that I'm doing this whole adderal thing.
And then there are the pictures. When I first got a camera phone, I was oddly if only sporatically obessed with photographing things. Kinda like hipsters taking pictures of their food, but with everything. I still do this from time to time, and my wife hates it, but what could my attention to these particular photos is that they might actually be good- or at least composed well.
Like many things I wonder if I shouldn't have stuck with it, and really dove in deep as opposed to the absent minded dabbling I tend to do.
I think I never got over that leap from doing stuff that sucks to doing stuff that's awesome. I never got over my own super critical judgement. I avoid things I suck at, but when you start doing anything, you ARE going to suck at it.
Ugh.
I swear I'm not making excuses I'm just trying to figure out where I went wrong and what to do next.
The only thing I can figure is keep doing stuff.
I now offically wonder when I'm going to stop counting.
Getting up out of bed, and intending to do stuff is easier.
I'm going through old photographs. I stumbled on some video diaries from when I really wanted to be Ze Frank- or John Green really, but I didn't know who that was yet. The material is pretty good. The editing is okay. The delivery is better that I expected- at least with the one video I liked. At least one of the others reminded me that it's a good idea that I'm doing this whole adderal thing.
And then there are the pictures. When I first got a camera phone, I was oddly if only sporatically obessed with photographing things. Kinda like hipsters taking pictures of their food, but with everything. I still do this from time to time, and my wife hates it, but what could my attention to these particular photos is that they might actually be good- or at least composed well.
Like many things I wonder if I shouldn't have stuck with it, and really dove in deep as opposed to the absent minded dabbling I tend to do.
I think I never got over that leap from doing stuff that sucks to doing stuff that's awesome. I never got over my own super critical judgement. I avoid things I suck at, but when you start doing anything, you ARE going to suck at it.
Ugh.
I swear I'm not making excuses I'm just trying to figure out where I went wrong and what to do next.
The only thing I can figure is keep doing stuff.
